I am not a ladies man.
Whether or not that surprises you probably depends on how well you really know me. Let me explain.
LL Cool J is a ladies man. My wife adores him. Ever since I met her, including one of the first things I really knew about her, she swoons for L. Guys put pictures up on walls, too. Somehow, it is rather uncool for a guy to actually talk about being gaga over it, though. It usually is unimpressive to any woman you are trying to impress especially. As for other guys, well, they are most likely to respond by giving you endless grief about anything you say. LL, for his part, frequently mentioned both his prowess as a ladies man and his thus exploits.
If LL was anywhere within walking distance, I would be nervous.
Hugh Hefner is a ladies man. If Hugh was in the room, it would not bother me. If Hef was even in the same back seat of a Taxi, it would not bother me. I don't think my wife would go for Hef. He's just too old, I think. Plus, my wife is no fan of porn, of any kind.
But Hef is actually more my type of guy. It is entirely possible that the ladies love Hef for his money only. But, I am pretty sure they actually enjoy being around the guy. Hef is smart enough to be sensitive and a keen listener. He knows the right things to say and how to say them. I have no doubt Hef is seductive.
Not that I am interested in being seductive. Technically, I mean I am not interested in seducing anyone except my wife. I wouldn't mind being considered seductive. I would even be interested in learning and practicing seduction. But, all of my attention would be on my wife. Everything I already know and practice is directed at her.
It's just that I would rather talk to women than men. Does that make me a ladies' man? I know it disqualifies me as being a man's man.
I have a couple of male friends. I talk with them from time to time. I actually enjoy it. But, I don't make a great deal of effort or spend much of my time conversing with them. Nor do they, with me.
On the other hand, I enjoy conversing with women at any opportunity. Women actually talk. Women talk openly and at length about just about anything.
Clearly, if you are reading this you can understand my attraction to that.
One of my pet peeves, I have learned is a one-sided conversation. I may not know enough about everything that I can talk to anyone about anything, but I'm willing to try. Guys usually want to talk about a select few topics at best. These are the things they are interested in. Some guys won't even talk about that. Women are more agile in this way. I like that. I enjoy variety.
I will concede, however, that this is all hinged to talking itself. Guys may not like to talk, but they definitely enjoy doing. Every guy has his hobbies, and if you can get into doing something together, guys will enjoy the time... even without saying a word. Two guys can sit (side by side, of course, face to face is only for tables...with food on them) in a room and watch TV and look completely bored and boring, but describe the time together as, "Great! Look forward to doing it again, sometime." Same is true for fishing. Hours on a boat or in an ice house, but you never talk while fishing. That's why I fish with my daughter.
So, I'm not a ladies man... even though I spend way more time talking to and hanging out with the ladies. But, then, I live with two ladies and no other men (and a cat--also female.) They are my girls. I love my girls!
Showing posts with label self depreciation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self depreciation. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
25 Random Things...
1. I have done this maybe 100 times over the last 30 years in different ways either in my head (very frequently) in various forms of expression, on paper scraps only I will see, or in a blog. It's knowing someone else might actually read it that bothers me. I am introspective by nature. I am also extremely sensitive about being judged.
2. I read an article in Time magazine about borderline personalities. It described the condition as having no emotional skin (as opposed to people who have "thick skin" who are not bothered by the opinions of others.) I thought that just might be my problem. But, I have a habit of doing that-- learning something new and then wondering if it applies directly to me.
3. I love to write. I don't write professionally in any way for anyone or any reason other than I like to do it. I enjoy it very much when someone enjoys my writing, but I don't want the responsibility that goes with asking or suggesting someone read something I wrote. I have to know I can trust you first.
4. I don't trust people very easily. Maybe not at all. I am not a misanthrope. I want people to feel comfortable, entertained, and affirmed by being around me. But, when it comes to needing something, I'd rather just do it myself, be independent. Everyone has their limitations and imperfections and I am as bad as the worst of them. I'd rather not put anyone in a position where they can fail. Whatever you do or don't do is ok. You did your best. Thanks.
5. I hated being a salesman. See #4. There was a time when I thought it would be really great idea and I really jumped into the training. After a while, all the technique turned into manipulation and I couldn't see it any other way any more. That, plus all the pressure to sell more more more made the notion that I was trying to benefit the customer more than the company disingenuous.
6. I enjoy learning. I feel alive when absorbing information the way a "people person" in energized by interacting with people. On the other hand, interacting with people usually exhausts me.
7. I used to think I loved teaching. Close, but not quite. What I enjoy is answering questions. I would love to explain something to you, if you want. I probably can put it in terms you will understand and remember and even use. But, if you come in like most students do and sit there almost defiant to learning, I couldn't care less if we both just took a nap instead. I admire teachers because they teach anyway, and are skilled at drawing the students in.
8. I could watch movies all day, every day, I think. Part of it is the escapism, but the bigger part is being drawn in to another idea. It's related to the learning thing, just in a more relaxed form.
9. I love the beauty of nature. I can see beauty in many different settings. It makes me feel connected to the Creator. I believe in creationism.
10. The way I see it, I became a Christian only at about age 33. That all begs the question of how does one become a Christian which is a discussion I'm not going to get into here. I know this: it was life-altering-supernatural. Born again? Couldn't have said it any better.
11. There was time when I was so fed up and confused I couldn't explain whether I was an atheist or agnostic or anything at all. This attracted the attention of some well-meaning Christians who wanted to help me out. They couldn't even come close to answering my questions. Looking back, my heart goes out to them, along with a sincere thank you that they came along, but they never got through. Looking back, I am disappointed that they were so bad at answering important questions. Looking back, it was all part of a larger plan.
12. I am half-way through this thing and it seems like the worst idea I've had all week. If you are reading this, I am genuinely surprised I let that happen.
13. I was very successful in school. I am not as smart as people think I am. I doubt there is anything impressive about my IQ and I wonder if I will ever get a reliable number to reference there. I know my limitations with math, which seems to be a big part of it.
14. I am a slow reader. I know many people who can read a 200-page book in 2 hours. I would probably take 2 days or maybe all week. For one thing, I struggle to sit still reading for very long. But, even then after 2 hours I wouldn't be half done.
15. I don't type correctly. I try, but I have an old, bad habit. When I was taking typing class in junior high, I started doing this thing where I would type with only about three fingers from each hand and just move them as necessary to the closest key. Blame it on the speed tests. I learned a way to be faster, rather than correct-er.
16. I consider myself to be clever. That's my word for it. MacGuyver was clever, if that helps. It's the concept of seeing a solution in a situation. Some of that is drawing from the clues that the available resources present. Whatever. I enjoy figuring out a way to get it done. I just think and the idea pops into my head. It's not the same as memorizing solutions.
17. The problem with random is the randomness. I do much better with structure. I could blather on and on about mundane nothingness. On the other hand, I could also write 25 jokes or 25 rhymes, or 25 things far more interesting than this. Don't you wish I had?
18. Ok, I just going to finish this and let the chips fall as they may. In junior high I was totally into Breakdancing. The only thing I can really do is Moonwalk. I saw Michael Jackson do it on Motown's 25 Anniversary and thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I thought it was an illusion at first. Do it right and it looks like walking, but moving backwards. Do it wrong and doesn't look like anything worthwhile. Eddy Murphy had a whole bit on that.
19. I am at least 6'1"... taller in shoes, etc. My wife (and her family) thinks I'm tall. I was always the shortest kid in class, or close. I didn't grow until my Junior year in HS. I knew I would eventually.
20. I enjoy my job. I drive a forklift. There is not much impressive about that and I don't care. I have no interest in moving into management. I thoroughly enjoy making the machine do things all day, with finesse! I thoroughly hate trying to make people do things.
21. I love my wife. It has taken great effort to learn how to do that. I am still learning. You remember Jerry MacGuire and that whole "you complete me" thing? Here's the deal kids: that means you have to be humble enough to admit you are incomplete. It means compromise. Mostly it means a whole bunch of really listening. It sounds great. It is. But, just try and do it.
22. I have a great memory. Unfortunately, it is sporadically selective. I can remember events with great detail from my early childhood and every year between. But, my wife can tell me something I have to do on Saturday while she is at work and by Thursday all I can remember is something important is happening Saturday. One of us has to write it down.
23. Lots of people say they are losing their mind. I just have more proof... and a prescription.
24. I have photographic evidence that the world used to be black and white. My daughter fell for that one anyway.
25. I would much rather answer your direct questions.
2. I read an article in Time magazine about borderline personalities. It described the condition as having no emotional skin (as opposed to people who have "thick skin" who are not bothered by the opinions of others.) I thought that just might be my problem. But, I have a habit of doing that-- learning something new and then wondering if it applies directly to me.
3. I love to write. I don't write professionally in any way for anyone or any reason other than I like to do it. I enjoy it very much when someone enjoys my writing, but I don't want the responsibility that goes with asking or suggesting someone read something I wrote. I have to know I can trust you first.
4. I don't trust people very easily. Maybe not at all. I am not a misanthrope. I want people to feel comfortable, entertained, and affirmed by being around me. But, when it comes to needing something, I'd rather just do it myself, be independent. Everyone has their limitations and imperfections and I am as bad as the worst of them. I'd rather not put anyone in a position where they can fail. Whatever you do or don't do is ok. You did your best. Thanks.
5. I hated being a salesman. See #4. There was a time when I thought it would be really great idea and I really jumped into the training. After a while, all the technique turned into manipulation and I couldn't see it any other way any more. That, plus all the pressure to sell more more more made the notion that I was trying to benefit the customer more than the company disingenuous.
6. I enjoy learning. I feel alive when absorbing information the way a "people person" in energized by interacting with people. On the other hand, interacting with people usually exhausts me.
7. I used to think I loved teaching. Close, but not quite. What I enjoy is answering questions. I would love to explain something to you, if you want. I probably can put it in terms you will understand and remember and even use. But, if you come in like most students do and sit there almost defiant to learning, I couldn't care less if we both just took a nap instead. I admire teachers because they teach anyway, and are skilled at drawing the students in.
8. I could watch movies all day, every day, I think. Part of it is the escapism, but the bigger part is being drawn in to another idea. It's related to the learning thing, just in a more relaxed form.
9. I love the beauty of nature. I can see beauty in many different settings. It makes me feel connected to the Creator. I believe in creationism.
10. The way I see it, I became a Christian only at about age 33. That all begs the question of how does one become a Christian which is a discussion I'm not going to get into here. I know this: it was life-altering-supernatural. Born again? Couldn't have said it any better.
11. There was time when I was so fed up and confused I couldn't explain whether I was an atheist or agnostic or anything at all. This attracted the attention of some well-meaning Christians who wanted to help me out. They couldn't even come close to answering my questions. Looking back, my heart goes out to them, along with a sincere thank you that they came along, but they never got through. Looking back, I am disappointed that they were so bad at answering important questions. Looking back, it was all part of a larger plan.
12. I am half-way through this thing and it seems like the worst idea I've had all week. If you are reading this, I am genuinely surprised I let that happen.
13. I was very successful in school. I am not as smart as people think I am. I doubt there is anything impressive about my IQ and I wonder if I will ever get a reliable number to reference there. I know my limitations with math, which seems to be a big part of it.
14. I am a slow reader. I know many people who can read a 200-page book in 2 hours. I would probably take 2 days or maybe all week. For one thing, I struggle to sit still reading for very long. But, even then after 2 hours I wouldn't be half done.
15. I don't type correctly. I try, but I have an old, bad habit. When I was taking typing class in junior high, I started doing this thing where I would type with only about three fingers from each hand and just move them as necessary to the closest key. Blame it on the speed tests. I learned a way to be faster, rather than correct-er.
16. I consider myself to be clever. That's my word for it. MacGuyver was clever, if that helps. It's the concept of seeing a solution in a situation. Some of that is drawing from the clues that the available resources present. Whatever. I enjoy figuring out a way to get it done. I just think and the idea pops into my head. It's not the same as memorizing solutions.
17. The problem with random is the randomness. I do much better with structure. I could blather on and on about mundane nothingness. On the other hand, I could also write 25 jokes or 25 rhymes, or 25 things far more interesting than this. Don't you wish I had?
18. Ok, I just going to finish this and let the chips fall as they may. In junior high I was totally into Breakdancing. The only thing I can really do is Moonwalk. I saw Michael Jackson do it on Motown's 25 Anniversary and thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I thought it was an illusion at first. Do it right and it looks like walking, but moving backwards. Do it wrong and doesn't look like anything worthwhile. Eddy Murphy had a whole bit on that.
19. I am at least 6'1"... taller in shoes, etc. My wife (and her family) thinks I'm tall. I was always the shortest kid in class, or close. I didn't grow until my Junior year in HS. I knew I would eventually.
20. I enjoy my job. I drive a forklift. There is not much impressive about that and I don't care. I have no interest in moving into management. I thoroughly enjoy making the machine do things all day, with finesse! I thoroughly hate trying to make people do things.
21. I love my wife. It has taken great effort to learn how to do that. I am still learning. You remember Jerry MacGuire and that whole "you complete me" thing? Here's the deal kids: that means you have to be humble enough to admit you are incomplete. It means compromise. Mostly it means a whole bunch of really listening. It sounds great. It is. But, just try and do it.
22. I have a great memory. Unfortunately, it is sporadically selective. I can remember events with great detail from my early childhood and every year between. But, my wife can tell me something I have to do on Saturday while she is at work and by Thursday all I can remember is something important is happening Saturday. One of us has to write it down.
23. Lots of people say they are losing their mind. I just have more proof... and a prescription.
24. I have photographic evidence that the world used to be black and white. My daughter fell for that one anyway.
25. I would much rather answer your direct questions.
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