Why I am not a Rock Star

Why am I not a rockstar?

I'm just not angry enough.

Dee Snider said the same thing. You remember him? He was front man for Twisted Sister. Now they were rock stars back in the day. You wanted to buy their music just because the cover was enough to freak out your parents. That's a good quality in a rock star. They sang songs like "We're Not Gonna Take It" which is a perfect example of that anger thing. But a person can't fake that or the audience will see right through it. If you are a happy, content, peacefull person, you can't get up on stage and get 30,000 fans screaming about angst.

One reason teenagers are such fans of rock stars is they know angst. When you are a parent, you just roll your eyes at such things. Yeah, kids have it so tough. Parents can only dream of how good kids have it-- free rent, free food, lots of spare time, few responsibilities if any, expendable income. Yet, the kids totally identify with angst-- oppression, futility, being stifled, bad hair.

P!nk is a rock star. Only a rock star would write So What! But, then, divorces have been known to make people angry. I don't think she needs much of a reason, though. She writes a song that says, "I just lost my husband... so what?" and then makes a video showing her getting the word VOID tattoed over her previous tatoo of her husband. She also has him appear in the video. Rock Star.

The Who became famous for smashing their instruments. Now, there you go! The Who were talented, many of their songs are classics that will be played for a long time yet. But, seriously, you could fire up a crowd of teenagers doing nothing more than wrecking stuff-- especially if you let them join in. Might be expensive, though. Booking could also be a challenge.

Speaking of wrecking stuff, some genius decided to re-create Woodstock a few years ago, except they neglected to order enough porta-potties and they created a monopoly of concessions that totally gouged their prices. So, Limp Bizkit gets on stage and "sings" one of their hits aptly titled Break Stuff. Which is exactly what the crowd did. Rock Star.

Tom Petty, Paul McCartney, and now Bruce Springstein were all old geezers and had been for a long time when they got booked for SuperBowl appearances, and then delivered in a big way. Rock Star.

Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen had a really cool, superfast Corvette. Big deal. But, then he got drunk and crashed it, getting his arm ripped off by the seatbelt. Drummers need their arms, as a rule. But, Rick figured out how to make his feet do double duty of what they always did in addition to what his arm used to do. Def Leppard continued to tour. Rock Star.

Wayne Winkler was last chair saxophone his Sophomore year in high school. The director needed a soloist for a particular song. He started at the first chair and went down the line. Miraculously, they all choked. Wayne could play this! He had been practicing. As the others tried, Wayne was doing the fingering. This was totally do-able. When Wayne's turn came up... the blood rushed out of his head, he probably did play some notes, but can't remember and it was all he could do to keep from fainting. Rock Star? No!

Not that I don't get angry, though. What I have learned, though, is that my anger almost always comes from unrealized expectations. When I get up in the middle of the night, I expect to walk through my house without stubbing my toe on anything. Doesn't always happen. What's the problem? The room is too small, the "whatever" shouldn't be there, I hate the layout, it wasn't my idea but I was "overruled" I hate that paint color and the curtains... But, then, I could have been more careful or used a light, too.

That's what growing out of the teen age years can do for you: it can make you smart enough to accept the things you cannot change, to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It can also make you old enough to drink legally.