The Daily Blog 2010-05-06

I've got this thing on my mind. It seemed the best thing to do was to express it. And since no one really reads this blog anyway, I'm just gonna use this thing. I am exercising this summer. Actually, there's a diet/exercise thing going on. So, this is me working through that...

Blog, blog, blog...
Distance: 3.105 miles
Time: 31:00 minutes
Weight: 186.5 lbs
MP3 Highlights: Whip It!, 99 Luft Balloons, Yer So Bad, 2 songs by Blink 182

I felt like crap pretty much the whole distance. That's actually a good thing, because I ran anyway. If I allow myself to only run when I feel like it (or any exercise at all) eventually, I'll be back to sitting around all day. That reminds me of an element that seems rather important right now: There was a period after the surgery when I was in the most pain/discomfort when I DID NOT walk. So, as much as I did not want to do it, I knew that I would feel worse if I did not than I would doing it.

Motivation is tricky, but I think it's really important. Many of my friends use their Facebook status to make note of their training, especially milestones. I ran my first mile without stopping in early January 2010. I ran my first 5k in February. Now, I run 5k every day. I haven't mentioned a word of this on Facebook.

Not that it's a secret or anything. I'm posting here, after all. When I committed to the team relay at work, it appeared on the bulletin board. But, I don't talk about my running unless somebody asks. After I ran the 5k in February, I was all set to announce it. Then, I decided not to. The thought that went through my head was, if it's about the recognition or the "attaboys" from friends, then that will become an excuse at some point. Sure, we can all encourage each other, but what also happens is we get tired or bored with encouraging others and it trails off. So, if I am motivated by something that will fade, or that is in the control of others, then I will eventually fade, too.

But, just blogging this is motivating, even though I'm not expecting anyone to read it. I don't expect anyone to read anything I write. I'm glad when they do. I enjoy their feedback. But, I do it for my own reasons in the end. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it.

As I was running today, one thing that helped keep my mind off the negative was the anticipation of getting to post about it later (which is now, technically). So, writing is a motivation for me. That's good to know.

The Yer So Bad song was a pleasant surprise because I got turned on to that song when Brad Jones played it on his guitar out on the deck on a beautiful summer evening at a party with some cherished friends-- a little less than half my age ago. The stream of memories that conjured is just the kind of thing that makes it so much easier to put one foot in front of the other long enough to get where you need to go.